Be of Service? Offer to Pray! (#BestOf)

(the Best of) A Year of Being Kind, Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Yes, it’s a beautiful autumn day! But—not for some. For patients in the hospital or in extended care centers, for their loved ones sitting alongside the beds, for homebound people unable to leave their residence as well as their faithful caregivers. The beauty of the day is not the first thing that comes to mind. And sometimes, the beauty of the day doesn’t come to mind at all. I’m reminded that the deepest cries of each of our hearts is heard by the Lord. Thank You for hearing us, God.

A Year of Being Kind blog – Monday, September 29, 2014

Be of Service? Offer to Pray!

How to be of service? Show people I care? I offered to pray, several times today.

I wish I had magical powers, or super powers. Some kind of power other than myself that would support, comfort and encourage these people. Wait . . . I do have that power! God’s power. The Holy Spirit will readily come alongside of anyone who needs healing, is hurting, or discouraged, or troubled. The Holy Spirit’s other title is Holy Comforter, which is exactly what several people needed today. And, I am encouraged—in a number of places in Scripture—to come alongside of people who are hurting, or damaged, or otherwise messed up. I am with them in support, caring—and prayer.

This is where my using the ministry of presence comes in. Remembering these few individuals, I saw immediately that I had the opportunity to ease the difficulty. Or sadness. Or disgruntlement. Or downright anger. I am reminded of this verse from Galatians 6:2 “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Well. That is what I am striving to do. How I try to operate.

I know that some grumpy or hurting or disadvantaged people do not want to be comforted. Okay. I hear that. I’ve got it. No. Nothing. Not at all. I don’t absolutely have to be forced, arm twisted behind my back, to talk to these individuals. Sometimes—and this is is awesome, and remarkable, and God-honoring—I don’t need to interact directly with these hurting individuals. Sometimes, I have offered to pray at a future time (as with one person today). Of course, I said! I want to make people feel as comfortable and content as possible.

What do you do when you encounter people who are hurting, or in pain, or discouraged? Do you avoid them? Or, do you engage with them, interact and see what is the matter? It does not matter, since God can still work in their lives. God can come alongside of them while they are sleeping, and ease the nightmares. God can work in their lives and alleviate the suffering and pain. God can spread comfort, encouragement, and support. Most of all? Our God is a mighty, wonderful, powerful Helper, ready to ease anxiety and heal disappointment, discouragement, and anger. And—we don’t even have to pray out loud for those caring activities. The Holy Spirit interprets our groanings too deep for words. The Mighty, Loving, Generous God knows. Amen!

@chaplaineliza

Like what you read? Disagree? Share your thoughts with your loved ones and continue the conversation.

(Suggestion: visit me at my daily blog for 2015: matterofprayer: A Year of Everyday Prayers.   @chaplaineliza And read my sermons from Pastor, Preacher Pray-er – Thanks!)

Not One Hundred Percent

(the Best of) A Year of Being Kind, January 8, 2015

What do you do when you aren’t feeling quite well? Do you drag around, trying to make do with what you can? Or, do you get plenty of rest? This blog post from a year ago relates a little about me and my day of being kind when I did not feel one hundred percent.

A Year of Being Kind blog – Thursday, January 9, 2014

Not One Hundred Percent

I didn’t feel one hundred percent today. Sub par. Nevertheless, I dragged myself out of the house this morning. Once I had started the day and was outside, I felt better. (I ought to take my own advice, since that’s what I’ve said to my children for years when they don’t feel very chipper in the morning.)

I had the opportunity to be with a senior for a bit today. This senior needed some assistance and companionship, and I was happy to provide it. We didn’t talk too much, but this senior was content to simply sit with me there as a companion. I was very much aware of the ministry of presence. My being-with this senior was loving and giving of myself.

I know what the ministry of presence is, but some do not. Simply put, it is not a human doing, but instead becoming a human being. Simply being present with another person. I’ve been told by many people that my caring, less-anxious presence can be gentle and calming. Sometimes that’s what anxious or frightened or upset people need. And oftentimes, I provide it.

Several of my former supervisors mentioned this aspect of my character (my giftedness?). I think back to how I began this post, and connected it to a verbatim I wrote for my first chaplain internship. The verbatim concerned a senior couple at the hospital where I did my clinical rotation. However, one of the most distinctive things about that in-depth paper was one of the learning issues that I dealt with at the time. How do I manage to navigate and work when I don’t feel up to par? Not one hundred percent? I was not feeling quite chipper for the clinical day at the hospital, either. Yet God was still able to use me.

I did pray before I went to the floors for my clinical chaplain visits that day. It’s amazing. I wrote this particular verbatim almost ten years ago, yet I can still see and hear portions of the conversation and interaction in my mind. Upon reflection afterwards, I was awed by the openness of both the husband and the patient. God has given me an open heart and open ears to listen to people who are hurting. That’s a big reason why I went to seminary in the first place—to get further training in how to more intelligently, actively listen to people, and to walk with them as they go through difficult places in their lives. I am surprised at how little I did say to both of these dear seniors, reading over the verbatim just now. Yet the couple seemed really happy with my visit, and really wanted me to come back.

This situation in my verbatim was early in my experience as a chaplain. However, even then I used the ministry of presence. Today I come alongside of people, being with them. Sometimes I talk with them, and sometimes I’m quiet. For example, like I was with the senior I helped today. I tried to be a gentle, friendly companion, and I think I succeeded.

@chaplaineliza

(Suggestion: visit me at my daily blog for 2015: matterofprayer: A Year of Everyday Prayers. Thanks!)

(also published at ayearofbeingkind.wordpress.com

Be of Service? Offer to Pray!

A Year of Being Kind blog – Monday, September 29, 2014

Be of Service? Offer to Pray!

How to be of service? Show people I care? I offered to pray, several times today.

I wish I had magical powers, or super powers. Some kind of power other than myself that would support, comfort and encourage these people. Wait . . . I do have that power! God’s power. The Holy Spirit will readily come alongside of anyone who needs healing, is hurting, or discouraged, or troubled. The Holy Spirit’s other title is Holy Comforter, which is exactly what several people needed today. And, I am encouraged—in a number of places in Scripture—to come alongside of people who are hurting, or damaged, or otherwise messed up. I am with them in support, caring—and prayer.

This is where my using the ministry of presence comes in. Remembering these few individuals, I saw immediately that I had the opportunity to ease the difficulty. Or sadness. Or disgruntlement. Or downright anger. I am reminded of this verse from Galatians 6:2 “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Well. That is what I am striving to do. How I try to operate.

I know that some grumpy or hurting or disadvantaged people do not want to be comforted. Okay. I hear that. I’ve got it. No. Nothing. Not at all. I don’t absolutely have to be forced, arm twisted behind my back, to talk to these individuals. Sometimes—and this is is awesome, and remarkable, and God-honoring—I don’t need to interact directly with these hurting individuals. Sometimes, I have offered to pray at a future time (as with one person today). Of course, I said! I want to make people feel as comfortable and content as possible.

What do you do when you encounter people who are hurting, or in pain, or discouraged? Do you avoid them? Or, do you engage with them, interact and see what is the matter? It does not matter, since God can still work in their lives. God can come alongside of them while they are sleeping, and ease the nightmares. God can work in their lives and alleviate the suffering and pain. God can spread comfort, encouragement, and support. Most of all? Our God is a mighty, wonderful, powerful Helper, ready to ease anxiety and heal disappointment, discouragement, and anger. And—we don’t even have to pray out loud for those caring activities. The Holy Spirit interprets our groanings too deep for words. The Mighty, Loving, Generous God knows. Amen!

@chaplaineliza

Like what you read? Disagree? Share your thoughts with your loved ones and continue the conversation.

Be Helpful? A Lesson from Chaplain Internship—and More

A Year of Being Kind blog – Saturday, September 27, 2014

Be Helpful? A Lesson from Chaplain Internship—and More

I feel strongly about chaplaincy. One of the foundation stones for my whole ministry is that of pastoral care, ministry of presence, and journeying alongside of those who are hurting in any way. I have spent more than ten years in the ministry of chaplaincy, in a variety of settings. And, I’ve spent a goodly portion of these years serving in internships, as well.

Today, I was vividly reminded of a situation where I needed some advice. Some discernment. I couldn’t help but be reminded of several times in the past, in my various chaplain internships. I have been blessed in my internships, in three different clinical settings. All three have involved cohesive, collaborative groups of interns. I understand from others that not every group is so fortunate. So, I do consider myself blessed by the groups. In addition, I was blessed even more with my chaplain supervisors! Each one, though different from each other, was effective, supportive, and engaging to the interns separately, as well as in the group.

I thought of a specific instance in my latest chaplain internship unit, at a downtown hospital in Chicago. Chaplain Peter was our supervisor, and he directed and facilitated the group with a light hand. Yet—he was present. Very present to all of us. To each of us. He led by compassionate, loving example, and I learned to take cautions and negative comments as well as positive ones, contain them, prayerfully consider them, and seriously and objectively take them to heart.

Not that I hadn’t had some experience and direction at how to take correction as well as compliments before, in chaplaincy, in various internships, and just in life, in general. But with Chaplain Peter, both the clinical and the classroom learning seemed upped to a graduate level and beyond. Serious learning! No kindergarten-level learning there.

My mind drew a direct parallel between that learning experience and a situation today. I got a long distance telephone call out of the clear blue sky, and even when I hung up, I was in a quandary. Really, earnestly puzzled at what to do. I wondered and thought and prayed. Still needed assistance and advice. I turned to a Facebook page where a number of women ministers, clergy, chaplains and other women of faith join together in support, camaraderie and fellowship. (This is an international group, too!) I have been following this page for some months, and I noted the wide-ranging and varied comments were often helpful, sometimes pointed, and always informative.

All right, I thought. I am really in a quandary. So—I posted a brief explanation of the telephone call. I asked for comments, suggestions, even advice. And, boy! Did I get a response! In a matter of minutes, I received so many helpful, informative comments and suggestions.

I was suddenly, vividly reminded of what I learned, sitting in that chaplain’s classroom in downtown Chicago. I was moved to take these current cautions and comments as well as positive ones, contain them, prayerfully consider them, and seriously and objectively take them to heart. Just so, God tied these two situations together in my mind. What a moving connection. Thanks, God. Help me take these comments and suggestions I received tonight to heart, sincerely. As sincerely as these were offered.

@chaplaineliza

Like what you read? Disagree? Share your thoughts with your loved ones and continue the conversation.

Showing Love? Listen! Encourage!

A Year of Being Kind blog – Sunday, February 16, 2014

Showing Love? Listen! Encourage!

I met someone new today. Nothing out of the ordinary. What I did and how I acted after I met her was.

Today was the typical weekend day, not terribly busy, but with enough to do to keep me occupied. Church, errands, going with my daughter to a store.  I happened to meet two other women (one I knew), and a third came up to us a minute or two later. So there we were. The woman I hadn’t met before had just begun a detailed explanation of a difficulty she had. It was an intricate problem, and the three of us stood there, listening. Fascinated.

I could see how my new friend got animated, just by sharing her difficulty. Puzzling, and problematic, too. The other three women (me and my two friends) encouraged her. We were a receptive audience, nodding and letting her know we followed the many-layered story.  She apologized several times for bending our ears, but we reassured her that it was all right.

As I listened, I felt myself accessing my chaplainly skills. Something reminded me of situations with people in a chaplain situation. I knew I wasn’t in that particular, official role for that woman, but I could feel my active listening skills coming into play. I knew the ministry of presence was surrounding us, too. I could sense those spiritual tools right there inside me—ready, set, go!

I’m reminded of a passage of Scripture, 2 Corinthians 1:3-4: “the God of all consolation, who consoles us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to console those who are in any affliction with the consolation with which we ourselves are consoled by God.” I saw the principle expressed in this verse shown by example today. As the four of us stood there, listening and talking, we had in common the consolation of God. Even as my new friend was afflicted by a serious, intricate, ongoing difficulty, all of us were able to share the consolation with which God has consoled each of us.

As my new friend finished relating her difficult story, I stepped closer to her. She took a deep breath and smiled at me with some relief. “I hadn’t realized how much I was holding inside.” She felt so much lighter after unburdening herself. I returned her smile and told her I was coordinator for an intercessory prayer ministry at my church. I asked whether we might pray for her, but she was hesitant to accept prayer—at first. I assured her that the prayer ministry would be happy to pray for her for four weeks, for her encouragement and comfort. That struck a chord. She nodded with gratitude, and thanked me. Then she apologized again, but had to leave. Her whole air and attitude seemed lighter as we said good bye.

I said only a few words to my new friend, but I listened, and encouraged her.  And, we all shared in God’s consolation. Thank God we can be there, for one another. I’m thankful God is there for me, too.

@chaplaineliza

Not One Hundred Percent

A Year of Being Kind blog – Thursday, January 9, 2014

Not One Hundred Percent

I didn’t feel one hundred percent today. Sub par. Nevertheless, I dragged myself out of the house this morning. Once I had started the day and was outside, I felt better. (I ought to take my own advice, since that’s what I’ve said to my children for years when they don’t feel very chipper in the morning.)

I had the opportunity to be with a senior for a bit today. This senior needed some assistance and companionship, and I was happy to provide it. We didn’t talk too much, but this senior was content to simply sit with me there as a companion. I was very much aware of the ministry of presence. My being-with this senior was loving and giving of myself.

I know what the ministry of presence is, but some do not. Simply put, it is not a human doing, but instead becoming a human being. Simply being present with another person. I’ve been told by many people that my caring, less-anxious presence can be gentle and calming. Sometimes that’s what anxious or frightened or upset people need. And oftentimes, I provide it.

Several of my former supervisors mentioned this aspect of my character (my giftedness?). I think back to how I began this post, and connected it to a verbatim I wrote for my first chaplain internship. The verbatim concerned a senior couple at the hospital where I did my clinical rotation. However, one of the most distinctive things about that in-depth paper was one of the learning issues that I dealt with at the time. How do I manage to navigate and work when I don’t feel up to par? Not one hundred percent? I was not feeling quite chipper for the clinical day at the hospital, either. Yet God was still able to use me.

I did pray before I went to the floors for my clinical chaplain visits that day. It’s amazing. I wrote this particular verbatim almost ten years ago, yet I can still see and hear portions of the conversation and interaction in my mind. Upon reflection afterwards, I was awed by the openness of both the husband and the patient. God has given me an open heart and open ears to listen to people who are hurting. That’s a big reason why I went to seminary in the first place—to get further training in how to more intelligently, actively listen to people, and to walk with them as they go through difficult places in their lives. I am surprised at how little I did say to both of these dear seniors, reading over the verbatim just now. Yet the couple seemed really happy with my visit, and really wanted me to come back.

This situation in my verbatim was early in my experience as a chaplain. However, even then I used the ministry of presence. Today I come alongside of people, being with them. Sometimes I talk with them, and sometimes I’m quiet. For example, like I was with the senior I helped today. I tried to be a gentle, friendly companion, and I think I succeeded.

@chaplaineliza