Being Kind, on an Anniversary!

A Year of Being Kind blog – Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Being Kind, on an Anniversary!

Today is my anniversary. Or, to be completely correct, today is my wedding anniversary. (My husband’s, too.) I remember the day of our wedding. A downright hot day in Chicago. The church wasn’t air-conditioned. Neither was my sister’s Victorian-era house, which was several doors down from the church. At least the wedding was at eleven o’clock in the morning, so it hadn’t gotten too hot yet. A small, modest affair. Just what my husband and I wanted.

But that was twenty years ago. Fast forward to today. Back to the workaday world. The earlier part of the day was filled with regular work-stuff. I mean, telephone calls made, emails sent, the fall schedule firmed up. I checked two fliers/bulletin inserts from last year and updated them with proper information and new dates. (Important!)

I also made a visit to a care center to visit a senior. Good visit! All the way around. I enjoy these visits where people are feeling pretty perky. (I mean, generally. Of course, the visit was to a care center, so people are not feeling their best. But, still.) Visiting people who are getting healthy and going to leave the hospital or care center soon is certainly much more heartening than visiting in an ICU or emergency department.

I realize, as a chaplain, I had a responsibility to do my best to come alongside of people in serious or traumatic health care situations. But I have shifted my care. Shifted my priorities. I am not working with people who are so seriously ill. I don’t deal with their loved ones on a regular basis, trying to come alongside of them as they reframe the patients’ life situations. Instead, my work is now a local parish. A small, intimate congregation.

But after I finished at the care center today, I ran several errands and ended up at the grocery store. I decided to buy my husband a small cake for our anniversary. As long as he is very fond of yellow cake with chocolate icing, I knew the store nearby would be sure to have one. And, sure enough. They even had a one-layer cake available, so I didn’t have to get a big two-layer cake. (too much!)

My husband was happy to see the cake. Plus, my son (senior in high school) and his two friends were even more pleased to see it, and to eat some, too. (The chocolate icing was superb, as well!) So, I fed some hungry stomachs today. Another way of thinking about it is, I was kind to four hungry guys.

Good memories. Good cake. All in all, a good anniversary.

@chaplaineliza

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Being Kind, Showing Love

A Year of Being Kind blog – Saturday, February 1, 2014

Elizabeth’s birthday cake
Kevin Jones – photo

Being Kind, Showing Love

Today is my birthday. “Hap-py birth-day to me!” I wouldn’t mention this except for the fact that my oldest daughter saved my birthday cake yesterday. She lives in the same suburb that the rest of our family lives in. She offered to take me out for a birthday dinner yesterday evening. But before we went to the restaurant, she noticed that something was the matter when I picked her up in the car. She frowned. “What’s up?” I tried to dismiss it, thinking that she and I didn’t need to rehash frustrating and irritating stuff, but she pressed me.

I finally came clean. “I baked a cake for myself this afternoon, and tried a new filling. Raspberry filling. I followed the directions, reduced the frozen raspberries and water on the stove, added the sugar, raspberry extract, and lemon juice. I removed it from the heat and let it cool, then added the corn starch in water. But it won’t set up. It’s still raspberry soup!” I communicated how disgruntled I was. We laughed, and then she commiserated with me. She asked what I wanted to do—just forget about the cake and go out to eat, or go and try to fix the filling and go out to eat later. I dithered for all of ten seconds, and then we went to my house to try our best on the filling.

Suffice it to say that together, we got the filling to jell. (We put it back on the heat.) We cooled it, put the filling between the cake layers, and then my daughter iced the cake (with my chocolate buttercream icing. Yum!) After that, she and I went out to a good, moderately-priced Italian bistro and pizza place. We got salad, baked potato and ribs (my choice—again, yum!) And afterwards, we went home for cake. (Yum, for the third time!) The—jelled—raspberry filling was perfect. All in all, a satisfying evening.

Through giving me a hand with the cake and coming to the rescue of the raspberry soup, my wonderful daughter showed great love to me. She was kind to me, intentionally. (Just what I am trying to do, each day in 2014.) I was so grateful! I told her so, several times, and gave her a few hugs. We all had cake and conversation. A wonderful, family way to end the evening, too.

As I reflected on this frustrating and irritating situation, my daughter was able to so easily redeem the filling (and my disgruntled temper, too!). Yes, it was a small thing. The filling of a cake that I did not need (in terms of calories), but she and I together were able to salvage and successfully ice and finish. This reminded me of situations where I was unable to complete certain tasks on my own at work, or in a ministry at church. But when one or two willing friends or co-workers came alongside of me and helped, the job was a piece of cake! (pun intended <grin>) I suspect that is exactly the lesson God wanted me to learn. God, do I hear You laughing? Not at me, but with me, of course. I think You are.

@chaplaineliza